THE JERKS ARE SCREWING UP THE WORLD

Well, we've all been listening to the news. It's quite obvious that the jerks of the world are taking over. Not by their own intent, but by the fact that the fanatics are trying to stop them, and at the same time are lousing up every day life for the rest of us. So, in an indirect fashion, the jerks are taking over. Here, I point out the examples.

You've heard, lately, about the troubles in the schools. Lets see what I can recall off the top of my head. Girl suspended for toting an Advil in her back pack. Boy suspended for giving his friend an aspirin. Orchestra student suspended for carrying a Swiss Army knife in her fiddle case (she used it to scrape rosin off her violin strings). The list goes on. Kids can't wear hats (might be affiliated with a gang). Some schools have banned back packs altogether, because they're used for smuggling contraband into the school. A 5 year old kindergarten student got kicked out for having a Beeper for Pete's sake. Now, where I come from, a Beeper is a good device for a kid to have, especially if both parents work, and they want to keep tabs on little Tommy. Well, it seems that kids use Beepers to sell drugs. Just call the Beeper number when you need a fix. For some reason, i doubt little 5 year old Tommy was pushing drugs.

i would have never got thru school with these unreasonable rules. I carried, in my pockets every day of Jr. and Sr. high school, the following: Big set of keys (house, car, dad's store, garage, airplane hanger, bike lock, and a few others), which would have kept me from getting past todays metal detectors. A Chapstick, a pocket size tin of Anacin (YIKES!!! DRUGS!!), a small Swiss Army knife (exactly like the one I'm carrying today, I've worn out about a dozen or more since 7th grade). A plastic coin holder, and a wallet. By todays standards, I'd be a delinquent, on my way to eternal detention, or expulsion. Nope, I wasn't in any gang, didn't sell any drugs, and could trim my nails, tighten a screw, have luscious lips, no headache, and get on with my life. And hey, I suspect the key for any Chrysler automobile is at least as dangerous as the tiny blade in that knife! I'm sorry, Brian, you're expelled for carrying that pak of Pepto-Bismal tablets..oh, and hear..on your way out, have some condoms! What the heck is going on?

The problem is way past the schools, however. My son, is 10. He loves to build model cars and airplanes. At any given moment, he's got two or three "custom creations" underway on his basement work table. A few weeks ago, he rode his bike to Wal-mart. Locked it up, and went in to buy a can of model spray paint, and a tube of model glue. He came home empty handed. Since he's not over 18, the only reason he could possibly be using these substances, is to inhale them to get high. But, oh ho, once you're 18, you're using this stuff to build plastic '58 T-Birds, right? I don't think so. And anyone who is stupid enough to be sniffing this stuff, is, oddly enough, smart enough to get it without having to get a fake ID to buy 'em at the Wal-mart. Who builds models? Kids! Who needs the glue, paint, and other supplies? Kids! Whats worse is, there's even non-toxic glue for little kids to use. But Wal-mart STILL won't sell it to 'em unless Dad's along. However, let me point out that they can go to the hardware and home improvement section of the very same store, and buy paint thinner, all sorts of exotic construction glues, fingernail polish remover (which is a lot more potent than the model glue), and all sorts of other equally abusable products. I guess it's been determined that users all choose model glue as the finest consumer product to abuse, huh? No one stops to think that the propellant in Reddi-Whip is nitrous oxide (laughing gas) and you can get a great high right at the grocery store! he..you with the Reddi-Whip...lemme see your ID.

But it gets worse. The jerks are really screwing the world up for EVERYONE. Like the fisherman. You go to the store. You buy a new trolling motor. You need a new 12 volt deep cycle battery to power it. You select one off the display, and head for the checkout. Oops! You didn't bring an old battery to return, so you have to pay $5 EXTRA! Wait a minute...how can you have an old battery? You just BOUGHT the darn motor, and never had an old battery. Doesn't matter. You gotta pay up. This is the way the state of Minnesota has decided to keep old lead acid batteries outta the landfills. Charge EVERYONE who buys a new battery $5 if they don't bring in the old one. This keeps you from tossing it in the trash, 'cause it'll cost you $5 otherwise. No plan in the law for people who don't have an OLD one to bring in. You just pay and pay.

Wait, there's more. how about your car insurance. Did you know, that if you're in Minnesota (or many other states) you're required BY LAW to purchase "Uninsured motorist" coverage? Yup, insured specially for getting creamed by some jerk who doesn't have insurance!! I gotta find a business to get into where the law FORCES people to buy your product.

Look at the Mall of America. Biggest place to shop in the NATION! Just because a few jerk teenagers show up on weekends and wreak havoc, they've decided to ban everyone 16 and under from entering on Friday and Saturday nights, unless they have adults with them. Even the kids age 15-16 who WORK there couldn't get in.

Are all PARENTS psychos too? Schools must think so. Gee, it's my daughters day to bring treats for the school class party. Mom bakes 24 tasty hand frosted chocolate cupcakes. She then proceeds to bring them all home. Against the rules to have home made baked goods in school!! Maybe Mom is trying to poison the entire class? Maybe it's better for the kids to eat store bought, chemical laden treats?!? Somehow, I don't think so. Maybe once, there was a crazy mom who put Ex-Lax in the brownies. Couldn't little Debbie go berserk once, and have some crazed employee put something funny in the Swiss Rolls? At least if Susie's mom made nasty cupcakes, the authorities would know where they came from! Why can't we serve the treats in class, but it's OK if the Cheerleaders have a bake sale for a fund raiser, and sell the home baked stuff to the public at large?

How about Halloween? It's all screwed up. People worried about the devil worship. Poisoned treats. Kids getting harassed. It's just another example of the jerks taking over. We're letting the scum take the upper hand. We're letting them win the overall battle. Their shenanigans are screwing up our lives, and We're LETTING them.

Lets bring the insanity to a stop. Making rules like the Nazi's and ruling with Gestapo like tactics is just getting all the normal folks angry. It's time for us to lash out directly at the JERKS who are screwing everything up. Instead of punishing EVERYONE for some little infraction (like taking an aspirin for crissake) next time we catch someone actually abusing something (like a real glue sniffer, or a guy dumping his battery in the trash) bust 'em big time. Send the drug kids to hard labor concentration camp/schools. Fine the battery trasher $1000, instead of taking $5 from everyone who ever buys a battery for the first time. It's time to speak out, and take back your rights, your schools, and your lives.

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